February is a great time to check up on your tween’s dental health. Girls with healthy teeth chew food easily, speak clearly, and smile with confidence. Brushing twice daily and flossing before bed are the early grooming habits that become a critical part of our daughters’ life-long beauty habits.  If your dentist is like ours, she will ask your daughter a lot of questions about her eating habits, the beverages she drinks, the snacks she enjoys, what, if anything she drinks before bed, and the vitamins she takes.  I do love our dentist because she reinforces the consumption habits we endorse.  Protein and vegetables are great.  Water, great.  Avoid soda and limit or water-down juices.  Energy bars and candy are not good snacks.  Fruits are better.  With Valentines’ Day approaching, dark chocolate is much better than milk chocolate.  Gummie vitamins have a lot of sugar; chewables are better.  Avoid milk before bed, and again, water is better.

The best beauty regimes are also good health regimes.  At Ottilie & Lulu we believe that a good, daily regime should also include washing your face at least twice a day, applying moisturizer with a sunscreen in the morning before going to school, and wearing a moisturizing lip balm with a sunscreen.  A clean, healthy-looking face is a beautiful face and gives girls confidence.

This Valentines’ Day, give your favorite tween girls Ottilie & Lulu Face Essentials. This gift includes Clean Skin Face Wipes, Everyday Facial Moisturizer & Sunscreen w/SPF 20, and Sunshine Lip Balm w/SPF 20 and is packaged in a re-usable white organza bag with a beautiful Valentines’ Day red ribbon.  Save 15% with the coupon code 4MTV (For My Tween Valentine) on this $33.00 retail value.  Order today to insure Valentines’ Day delivery.

Poets and artists have often said “The face is the mirror to the soul.”  Encourage your daughters to flaunt their beautiful souls–along with their great teeth and beautiful faces.

Have you taken your daughter to the theater lately? Yes, there are some fabulous Broadway shows if you have the budget. But there are also some really great alternatives that provide fun entertainment at a fraction of the price.

One of my favorites is TADA! Youth Theater.  From now through February 15, TADA! is performing B.O.T.C.H., a most enjoyable musical where you and your daughter meet artistic rats, dancing mummies, and the kids of B.O.T.C.H. who lurk under the New York City subway system.  Last weekend my tween daughter and I joined 2 of her friends with their mothers to see this show.

The performers range from ages 8 to 17 and come from all 5 boroughs, plus, New Jersey.  The play is from the book and lyrics of Jon Agee, a popular playwright and lyricist.  The smokey, jazz music is by Daniel Feigelson, and choreography by Joanna Greer.  These really talented kids sing, dance, and act their hearts out–and they are amazing.  Our daughters were enthralled-mine by the dancing rats; her friends by the gorgeous, tap-dancing mummies.  What was so wonderful to watch was the cooperation and confidence of the cast.  These are great, talented kids of all shapes, sizes, and ethnic backgrounds.  Some have braces, some wear glasses, but all are beautiful, hard-working, dedicated performers.

I can’t say enough wonderful things about TADA! Youth Theater.  A number of years ago my daughter celebrated her birthday at TADA!  The staff were incredibly helpful and arranged for some of their professional coaches to come in and do fun, theater exercises with my daughter’s birthday guests.  A couple of TADA! students joined the party and brought their special talents for the girls to enjoy with an impromptu performance. I highly recommend it if you are thinking of a theme birthday party. Janine Nina Trevens and her staff do an amazing job.

For 25 years TADA! has been providing young people of all different backgrounds the opportunity to explore and perform musical theater together in an educational, supportive, and professional environment.  And every year they perform three original musical theater productions.

If you don’t live in the New York Metro area, your town, school, or community theater can rent TADA! musicals and plays.  You can browse their selections and Script Marketing page at www.tadadtheater.com/scriptrental or call 212.252.1619 x133.

Your daughters will enjoy TADA! theater, and you will smile when you see these young actors doing what they love.

Okay, winter has hit with a vengeance. Having just returned from sunny, warm, California, I can see why Californians have sympathy for us, but don’t want to be us ( New Yorkers).

While we were there, my family spent a relaxing morning at the La Quinta Resort and Spa. It’s quite lovely there, and they offer  select spa treatments for young girls.  Since this was the holidays, my daughter got a short treatment as a special treat. But no matter the location, we all have our rituals for fighting winter blues–and winter skin.   For ourselves, we apply lots of moisturizers to our faces and bodies; we try to use oil-based shower gels; and when possible, we soak in baths to replenish moisture loss from cold, heat, and/or dryness.  Anything so we do not have to look at those fish scales on our arms and legs!

Our tween girls suffer from the current extreme temperatures and harsh environmental factors, too.  The effects of winter are most visible on their chapped faces-particularly around their mouths-and on their exposed hands (”It’s not cold; I don’t need gloves”).  To protect her skin, I have started my tween on certain winter skin rituals.

When she bathes, I pour some Vaseline Vitalizing Gel Body Oil, Cocoa Butter, in the tub.  (My daughter does not have nut sensitivities.)  She loves it because it’s so relaxing, and she loves the way the water beads and glistens on her skin.  I tell her not to wash her face with this bath water; it’s too oily for her skin.  When she’s out of the tub, she cleanses her face, but does not use a night-time moisturizer.  At this age, a facial moisturizer can clog tweens’ pores, but a gentle cleanser is an important step in her night time hygiene ritual.  Of course, in our house, Ottilie & Lulu Clean Skin Face Wipes is the gentle cleanser of choice.

On a day when she hasn’t had a sports activity, she might skip her bath.  She doesn’t shampoo her hair every night. When she goes to bed she pulls all her hair away from her face to keep her hair oil from getting on her face.  She gathers her hair in a bun or pony to minimize static.

Harsh winter can take an early toll on tween skin just as it can on our skin.  Get her started on a balanced winter skin care ritual that will nourish her natural beauty.  She’ll have a head start on spring.

One of the things I enjoy doing between the week of Christmas and New Year’s is reviewing Top 10 Lists.  You know the lists I mean–almost every magazine title has their writers assemble these year-end lists.  Time.com does a good job.

I enjoy these lists because they remind me of some of the highs and lows that have taken place in the past 12 months; sometimes the lists call to my attention some of the things I’ve totally missed this year.  From best movies, best performances, best fiction, best non-fiction, best (and worst) fashion outings, to buzz words, etc. these lists are a flash of the past. 

As parents we have all been inundated with best toys, games, books, and movies lists since the beginning of December.  These lists were  created more for the purpose of guiding holiday purchases, and they were created by various retailers, not by tweens. 

And so I started to think: what and/or who would be on tweens’ top 10 lists in 2009?  Starting with pop culture who would tweens list as their favorite: Movie, TV Show, Song, Book, Celebrity, Game? 

After those 6 categories, let’s include 4 more categories, so we could have a tweens’ Top 10 in 10 Categories.

Let’s make the 4 additional categories:  past time, hero/heroine, fashion item (she) can’t live without, and lesson learned in 2009. 

I will interview my daughter to get her favorites and include them on our list.  Please email your tween’s favorites to hello@ottilieandlulu.com.  Use Tween Top 10 List for the subject. I will compile and post a Top 10 Tween List for 2009.

One of the activities I have come to really enjoy during the holiday season is the sending and receiving of holiday cards with photos. But, enjoying this activity is only a recent phenomen for me.  And, yes, it has everything to do with my daughter. 

When I was growing up my parents and their friends wouldn’t think of putting their children’s photos on holiday cards.  It was considered egotistical and gauche.  Perhaps those were the reasons why it took me so long to warm to this activity.  Some families may still consider photo holiday cards inappropriate, but I have become a convert. 

In fact, I have come to really love this part of the holidays.  In our family we celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah, so we send cards with our daughter’s photo on them to all of our friends.  And we look forward to receiving photo cards from everyone we know–with children or without.  Don’t worry, I have not converted to the point where I include a year’s digest that chronicles every move my child has made–although I am sure we all know someone who sends that digest.  To me it’s all about seeing all of those smiling faces.  I just can’t resist any child’s smile.  I also love to see the smiling faces of my friends.

Before my daughter, I swore that if I ever did have children, I would never bore my friends with annual photographic updates of my offspring. But I have made a 360 degree turn.  I have joined the ranks of parents everywhere who perform the annual ritual of photographing their children (or choosing an existing photo), selecting the prized photo, producing the card, writing the message and posting the card.  As a group we have empathy given the thought and effort we put into this activity.  I particularly feel for those with 3 and 4 children.  I can only imagine the challenge of getting everyone to smile-at the same time-for that photograph!

When I receive photo holiday cards, I always look to see how nicely everyone is growing up.  Sadly, sometimes I realize I have not seen some of my friends or their children in a while.   Some of the cards remind me to make the long overdue phone call to catch up.  Sometimes I follow through; sometimes I don’t.  But there is something reassuring about all of those smiling faces.  I feel closer to everyone and those beautiful faces underscore the love, warmth and friendship this season holds for each and everyone of us.  My daughter enjoys seeing her friends’ on the holiday cards, too.  She understands that her parents aren’t the only ones who perform this annual ritual.   It is a tradition I hope she will continue.  

There are so many ways to keep in touch these days from email to facebook.  But to me, there is something special about the holiday greeting.  What are you doing for your holiday greeting this year?  What format will you use?  And will you include a photo of your child/children?

Oh, and this week, my daughter has decided to send her $5.00 donation to George Harrison Fund for Unicef.  https://secure.unicefusa.org/site/Donation2?idb=777838553&df_id=1980&1980.donation=form1

I have been doing a few in-store events this past week. Ottilie & Lulu has been performing in-store facials by appointment at select stores around the Tri-State area (NY-NJ-CT).  I love being in-store because I get to talk to girls and their moms.  And during my one-on-one time with tween girls, they tell me their top gift picks for this holiday season.

But before I share the girls’ wish list, I have to tell you about one of the best stores I have had the opportunity to be in. For those in the Tri-State area, this will not be a surprise:  Marcia’s Attic for Kids in Englewood, New Jersey.  They carry classic and trendy styles  up to age 14.  Their personal service is absolutely amazing.  I will share more about them in another blog, but let’s go back to top Tweens’ Top Holiday Picks.

Top of their wish list?  The Nintendo DSI in pink.  Tweens’ loved its ability for games, being able to draw, and taking photos with the camera.  While this is an expensive gift even on Amazon ($169.99), girls were very chatty about this item.  The manufacturer says this is good for girls ages 6+, but the girls who were chatty about this item were 8+. As I checked around for my own tween, this item is in stock at Target, Amazon and ebay, but not at Walmart.

An item I was totally unaware of until this past week is the Zhu Zhu Pet Hamster.  Having Zhu Zhu and Nintendo on the same wish list, is so consistent with the inconsistencies of tween behavior.  Zhu Zhu retails for about $35.00—if you can find one in stock.  However, just this morning, Zhu Zhu is having some problems.  Apparently, there is concern that the hamster contains materials that make it more flammable than guidelines allow.  So while the girls were talking about it, I think this new news might make Zhu Zhu an unfulfilled wish for this year.

Crewcuts.  The girls were all chattering about the cool “looks” from crewcuts.  Whether it was a ruffled t-shirt, a cardigan, a hoodie sweatshirt, something in velvet, or just comfortable PJs, crewcuts seems to satisfy tweens’ fashion desire.  (It reminds me of teenagers’ pleas of “…anything from Abercrombie…please!”)   The preppy look has evolved into tween chic–at least on the upper East side of Manhattan.  Since crewcuts is probably not in your neighborhood, just go to www.crewcuts.com  and click on girls.  J.Crew is offering a 25% discount on all orders over $150.00 and free shipping.  I don’t know about you, but we have grown up on Hanna Anderson, have drawers filled with mini-boden, and are now moving on to crewcuts.  I will admit, I prefer the preppy look to the disco diva look carried by so many retailers. 

Since I was doing in-store facials, I am very pleased to say that Ottilie & Lulu’s Face Essentials pack was a real favorite of tween girls—and their moms.  The girls really liked Ottilie & Lulu Clean Skin Face Wipes and they LOVED the Everyday Facial Moisturizer & Sunscreen SPF 20 because it made their faces feel so soft.  It goes back to if you can share beauty tips with your girls and help them to be smart about taking care of their skin, they really do appreciate the information.  They also loved the Lip Balm with SPF 20.  Ottilie & Lulu Face Essentials retails for $33.00 and is 15% off now through December 18.  www.ottilieandlulu.com/tween-face/index.html?catid=1

So, three thumbs up and one thumbs down on what Tweens are asking for this holiday season.  More tips will be coming your way.  Stay tuned.

And to follow up on where my daughter and I are on our philanthropic efforts, this week we researched St. Jude’s Research Center for Children.  It is our charity of choice and they are geting her $5.00 this week.  While my daughter would have liked for her donation to be directed to Basic Research, the on line donation form does not allow a donor to direct her donation.  Nevertheless, my tween still thought it was an extremely worthy cause becasue of all they do for children.  www.stjude.org/waystohelp

Lots of Moms have a love/hate relationship with Thanksgiving. We know there is something really wonderful and special in being able to have our family around us. We take pride in preparing a great meal to be shared by those we care about.  We love the warmth the day brings to our hearts.  What don’t we like? The shopping, the hours of chopping, cooking, traveling, and just being so incredibly busy right up to when the dinner is on the table.  And it all goes by so fast! 

Our tweens watch us as we make our preparations, and they even help.  This year my 7-year old decided she wanted to contribute to the family meal with her special dessert-a vanilla pudding pie.  As I watched her stirring the pudding pot, we talked about Thanksgiving and what it means to us.  She gave me her ‘historical’ perspective.  She told me about the Indians and the Pilgrims and what they ate on the day of thanks.  She told me that Thanksgiving wasn’t an official holiday until President Lincoln declared it so.  And she told me she was grateful for so many things in her life.  She said that she wrote a short prayer to share at our Thanksgiving table.  Her little monologue underscored for me what I am most thankful for.

It made me think about little girls who are not as fortunate as my daughter, and I started to talk to her about the lives of girls around the world and what their lives might be like on our Thanksgiving Day.  The more we talked about it, we came to a decision.  We want to do something for those girls.  And so on the eve of Thanksgiving Day, we decided that we were going to look for charities that make a difference in girls’ lives.  My daughter agreed that over the next four weeks she would donate  some of the money she has saved to four different charities that help girls around the world.  My assignment is to find those charities for her to read about.  No matter how busy I get this holiday season, I am looking forward to this assignment and the conversations my daughter and I will have on this subject.  Tween philanthropy gives to those who give as well as those who receive.

The first group I am going to present to her is Girls’ Learn International.  Perhaps you and your tween want to visit http://www.girlslearn.org  to learn how you can make a difference in girls’ lives around the world.  Help her to understand that her donation can bring hope and joy to another girl’s life.  Thank you.

Your tween probably has a lot of holiday parties and celebrations coming up over the next several weeks. Inevitably your daughter will ask if she can wear (some type of) make up.  What will you answer?  Well, what and how you answer depends on your tweens’ age and whether or not you are willing to be her make-up artist.

The age range for tweens is anywhere from 7 to 14.  If your tween daughter is on the young side of this age range (7-10), I think it appropriate to suggest a light, natural-shade lip balm or gloss.  Avoid any foundation, blush, eye make-up-especially glitter (does anyone at any age look good in glitter make up?)  Young girls certainly don’t, and it irritates their skin. Use this opportunity to establish your credentials as an authority on beauty and demonstrate your willingness to be helpful in this area.  Before she starts to apply lip gloss, reinforce the need to brush her teeth.  Show her how to cleanse her face and apply her moisturizer (always with upward strokes) and then show her how to apply (not smear) lip gloss to her lips.  Try and make this modest make up application and cleansing ritual a beauty moment for her.  

Because older tween girls (ages 11-14) have more peer pressure and greater media exposure, you may want to give your daughter more make-up options. But even for this age group, I would avoid the use of any face make up. Their faces are producing more oil, and they should avoid anything that clogs their pores. 

If your daughter is in this age group, she really needs your expertise.  Think about all of the make-up tips you have ever learned, edit for age appropriateness, and start offering tween make-up tips.  Of course reinforcing the need for daily cleansing and moisturizing remains a top priority.  Use your beauty savvy to help her learn about the shape of her face.  Stand with her in a mirror and point out her beautiful features.  She will be an apt listener.  Introduce her to make-up pencils.  Demonstrate with a lip liner and show her how it brings out her lips.  Then dab on a soft shade of lipstick and/or gloss.  Help her to shape her brows with an eyebrow pencil.  Even just a few upward strokes on her eyebrows will make her feel more polished and sophisticated.

Great make-up artists have always said smart women know their best facial feature and maximize it.  Never have more than one focal point on your face.  Accentuate your eyes or your lips or your cheeks, but never all three.   It’s a great way to introduce a make-up lesson.

To me, my daughter’s beautiful face is perfect just as it is.  I am sure it is the same for you.  But when your tween daughter starts to ask questions about wearing make up, help her to understand that wearing less make up is actually more beautiful. Partner with her and show her the right way to wear make up.  Help her learn how to make the most of her natural tween beauty.

I read there is a new fashion doll being introduced this season and being targeted at the primary school set.  My stomach turned. Yes, I owned the ubiquitious Barbie Dolls (Ken, too) when I was growing up, and I do not get crazy when my tween daughter gets one as a gift.  However, I will admit to placing it under her other dolls hoping she does not find it. Do I really think curvaceous dolls will influence her  standards of beauty?  To some degree, yes.  I think all tween girls aspire to be beautiful just as their dolls are beautiful.  If we are really honest with ourselves, we know our dolls had an impact on our beauty standards.  That’s why it is critical to provide tweens with a context and a healthy plan to coincide with these aspirations. 

Sorry, I need to spend a few more words on what I find most troubling with some of the dolls I see being promoted as holiday gifts.  When has encouraging your tween daughter to become a ”fashionista” or condoning being mean become aspirational? Is having moxie or being a brat cute?  What message is being sent to tween girls if these are the dolls they are given to play with?  I just can’t find context for these dolls.  A lot of mothers agree.   What do you think?

The good news is there are a lot of great dolls out there for holiday giving.  Whether they encourage healthy beauty and body standards, inspire friendships, provide historical information, have a charitable component or are just plain silly, look at these dolls if you are thinking about dolls as a holiday present:  Karito Kids, Corolle Dolls, Middleton Dolls, Brownstone Buddies, Madame Alexander Dolls, the un-doll, The Ugly Dolls, and of course, the American Girl dolls.  All of these dolls can provide tween girls with charming choices in which they can indulge in creative play and dream.

And to help with those beauty aspirations, introduce your tween daughter to a healthy regime of daily skin and hair care.  Ottilie & Lulu skin and hair care formulas have been created for tween girls’ delicate skin and hair.  Encourage face cleansing twice a day with Clean Skin Face Wipes.  A great holiday gift is Ottilie & Lulu Hair Essentials.  The wild mint fragrances of the Feel Good Shampoo & Body Wash and the Shiny Silky Detangler & Conditioner will have girls loving their shower or bath time.

One mom’s suggestion to others for smart holiday gifts……….

It seems the birthday party season has arrived with a vengeance.  And while birthday celebrations come throughout the year, planning for a birthday party and shopping for a tween gift seems just a bit more stressful in the pre-holiday season.  Finding a free Saturday or Sunday on which to host a party between now and the holiday break is next to impossible.  If your community is similar to mine, we have found shared birthday celebrations to be a great answer.  Shared birthdays are great time savers and provide learning opportunities about giving and tween gifts.  Of course being able to share birthday celebration costs is also a bonus!

We’ve found the ideal number for sharing tween birthday celebrations to be bewteen 2 and 4 birthday girls.  If each of the birthday girls invites 5 to 7 friends, you have a nice crowd for the birthday celebration.  Since the common thread for these birthdays is a shared date or month of birth, the birthday girls may not necessarily be “best friends.”  But because each birthday girl invites her circle of friends, all of the tweens wind up spending time together in a fun celebration or shared activity.  Another great aspect of shared birthdays is shared presents.   When my daughter and I go shopping for this tween gift, she has to take the time to think about what the birthday girls have in common. Since she doesn’t know which of the girls is going to get her present, she needs to be sure the gift would be enjoyed by any of the birthday recipients.  As the parent of a tween girl, I also love that the number of gifts given is reasonable.  I do believe that any tween getting more than about 8 gifts at a time, is a bit overwhelming, and a bit over the top. 

Some of the best birthday presents for shared parties are art supplies, puzzles, books, CDs and my personal favorite–skin and hair care items.  Any of the Ottilie & Lulu gift sets make ideal tween presents.  Ottilie & Lulu tween skin and hair care essentials come at different price points and in different combinations.  Check our Travel Essentials, Face Essentials, Hair Essentials or the super Spa Essentials gift packs and see what might be the ideal tween gift for your next birthday party.

Check back soon, and I’ll share some great birthday party themes and locations.  Let’s make tween birthdays fun for all of us!